All Best SpongeBob Quotes-Sayings

SpongeBob quotes have become a top attraction for people from every corner of the world, reason why these sayings never get old. Nevertheless, SpongeBob SquarePants is an American animated television series that has made millions of people its addicted just because of owning the finest dialogues and quotes.

One, who watches it once, gets responsible of watching without no regrets every time turning it on. SpongeBob is a creation by marine science educator and animator Stephen Hillenburg for Nickelodeon.

The series became so popular with its adventures and ventures of the title character and his various friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom.

Parents get shocked when their children appear so excited to watch SpongeBob SquarePants, as well as their concentration in the series, makes moms and dads annoying.

It is not their fault as SpongeBob is definitely one of the funniest shows on televisions for our generation, even though its characters are only caused behind prominence globally.

The best part about “SpongeBob,” without a doubt, is the iconic quotes that we all still use in our daily language. With too many to count, here are some favorite “SpongeBob” quotes, from ones that all fans should know, to ones we use every day. Here you will be achieving the best Spongebob quotes regarding subjects as funny, dirty, friendship, school, underrated, dirty, sad and maybe other.


Here Are All Best SpongeBob Quotes-Sayings


Best Spongebob Quotes


“Firmly grasp it in your hand.”

“Ha ha ha ha, it’s a giraffe.”

“Well, it’s no secret that the best thing about a secret is secretly telling someone your secret, thereby, secretly adding another secret to their secret collection of secret, secretly.”

“Do you smell it? That smell, the kind of smelly smell. A smelly smell that smells… smelly.”

“Patrick, I don’t think Wumbo is a real word.”

“Come on. You know, I wumbo, you wumbo, he/she/me wumbo. Wombology, the study of wumbo! It’s first grade Spongebob!”

“I don’t get it. I made my house a mess, which was making it clean, which made Squidward clean my yard, but that really means he’s messing it up. But the opposite of clean is filth, which means filth is clean, that means Squidward is really making my yard a wreck, but I normally wreck my own yard which means, Squidward is being the opposite of Squidward which means he’s Spongebob!

“Is Mayonnaise an instrument?”

 “F is for fire that burns down the whole town, U is for Uranium…bombs! N is for no survivors!”

 “You don’t need a license to drive a sandwich.”

 “The best time to wear a striped sweater…is all the time.”

 “Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died… the end.”

 “My leg!”

“It took three days to make that potato salad…three days!!!”

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Funny Spongebob Quotes


“Spongebob: Now that we’re men, we have facial hair.

Patrick: Now that we’re men I changed my underwear.” _ Spongebob and Patrick

“Patrick: What does claustrophobic mean?

Spongebob: It means he’s a afraid of Santa Clause” _ Spongebob and Patrick

“You don’t need a license to drive a sandwich.” _ Spongebob

“Ravioli Ravioli, give me the formuoli.” _ Spongebob

“Are you Squidward now? … That’s okay take your time.” _ Patrick Star

“I’ll have you know that I stubbed by toe last week and only cried for 20 minutes.” _ Spongebob

“Spongebob: Patrick, you’re a genius!

Patrick: Yeah, I get called that a lot.

Spongebob: What? A genius?

Patrick: No, Patrick.” _ Spongebob Squarepants and Patrick Star

“Firmly grasp it in your hand.” _ Patrick Star

“Spongebob: Hey Patrick

Patrick: What?

Spongebob: I thought of something funnier than 24.

Patrick: Let me hear it.

Spongebob: 25.”

Spongebob and Patrick

“I know of a place where you never get harmed. A magical place with magical charm. Indoors. Indoors. Indoors. Take it away penny.” _ Spongebob

“Spongebob: guess what day today is? Patrick: annoy squidward day? Spongebob: no silly! thats on the 15!” _ Spongebob and Patrick

“I wumbo, you wumbo, he-she-me wumbo. Wumboing, wumbology, the study of wumbo! It’s first grade” _ Spongebob.

Patrick Star

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Inspirational Spongebob Quotes

“If you believe in yourself and with a tiny pinch of magic, all your dreams can come true.” – Spongebob

“It’s not always what you say that matters, sometimes it’s what you don’t say.” – Mr. Krabs

“No one can change a person, but someone can be a reason for that person to change.” – Spongebob

“You never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory.” – Spongebob

“With imagination, you can be anything you want.” – Spongebob

“Sometimes we have to go deep inside ourselves to solve our problems.” –

Patrick Star

“Home is where you’re surrounded by other critters that care about you.” – Sandy Cheeks

“Always follow your heart unless your heart is bad with directions.” – Spongebob

“You’ll never get what you want if you always let people step on you.” – Plankton

“Knowledge cannot replace friendship.” –Patrick Star


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Meaningful Spongebob Quotes

“Well, it’s no secret that the best thing about a secret is secretly telling someone your secret, thereby, secretly adding another secret to their secret collection of secret, secretly.”

“Knowledge cannot replace friendship. I’d rather be an idiot than lose you.”

“Just get outta here you stupid, dumb animal!”

“The best time to wear a striped all the time!”

“Can I be excused for the rest of my life?”

“Do instruments of torture count?”


“Can I get some extra salt?”

“We’re all out.”

“Could you check?”



“Too bad that didn’t kill me.”

 “Sometimes we have to go deep inside ourselves to solve our problems.”

“There’s an old saying, lad. ‘What doesn’t kill ya…usually succeeds in a second attempt.’”

“The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.”

“Are you Squidward? …That’s okay, take your time.”

“Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died.”

“I’m a good noodle!”

“We don’t need television…not as long as we have our imagination.”

“I used your clarinet to unclog my toilet!”

*Spongebob starts dancing* Squidward: “That’s his…eager face.”

Patrick: “Did you see my underwear?” Mindy: “No.” Patrick: “…Did you want to?”

Spongebob: “Patrick, why are you here?” Patrick: “Two words Spongebob: Na. Chos.”

“Being grown up is boring. Besides, I don’t ‘get’ jazz.”

“I like money.”

“You know what’s funnier than 24? 25!”

“If I were to die right now due to the carelessness of a friend..well, that would be okay.”

“Squidward? Would it be possible to play your clarinet a little…better?”


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Dirty Spongebob Quotes

When bae tells you to spread your legs

— “I’m ready, I’m ready.”

When you take your clothes off but still feel sexy AF

— “I’m ugly and I am proud.”

When he wants head but you forgot the grapefruit

— “Firmly grasp it in your hand.”

When they go down and you forgot that you haven’t showered in two days

— “Do you smell it? That smell, the kind of smelly smell. A smelly smell that smells… smelly.”

When he’s riding you and he forgot to drink two liters of water and gets a cramp

— “My leg.”

When bae teases you and have to stay strong and act cool till you get fucked

— “I don’t need it… I NEED IT.”

When he puts all of his weight on you when he is on top

— “Excuse me, sir, but you’re sitting on my body, which is also my face.”

When the head is lacking so you give subtle hints on how you can improve

— “Technique!”

When bae hits that spot and you lose your fucking mind

— “Meenehoymeehoymehoynee!!!!!!”

When bae says to bring that ass over here

— “Bring it arounndddddd town.”

When bae asks to take off your panties but you aren’t wearing any

— “Well, I guess you are going to miss the panty raid….”

When bae tries to stick it in but you aren’t ready to stop being dominated

— “Assertion… not INSERTION.”

When geeky white boy whips out and you gasp because there is a 40-ounce in his pants

— “It was big, pink, and scarryyy.”

When bae says where they are going to shove it and you forget everything but fine dining and breathing


When they kiss your neck and it makes you quiver but it tickles

*Cue SpongeBob Laughter*

When he says to get on your knees

— “If I am lucky, Mr. Talent will rub his tentacles on my art.”

When bae wants to role play

“I’m Dirty Dan.”


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Underrated Spongebob Quotes

“Don’t worry Mr. Krabs, as long as these pants are square, and this sponge is bob,  I will not let you down!”

“Uh, SpongeBob? Could you let me down?”

-Imitation Krabs

“But a visit to the Krusty Krab makes everyone happy. And what could be better than serving up smiles?

Being dead, or anything else.”

-Can You Spare A Dime?

“I realized there’s a lot of young people on the go these days. They don’t have time to sit down and eat. They’re too busy out on the open road living their dreams.”

I used to have a dream.

“Yeah? I used to have a kidney stone. Everything passes eventually.”

-Driven to Tears

“Do instruments of torture count?

I’ve always found that line way funnier than the mayonnaise line honestly”

“Your potty has a shocky thing in it.” -Patrick, Chum Bucket Supreme

“YES IM SAVED YOUR WIFE EXPLODED” – Single Cell Anniversary

“Spongebob, what are you doing here?! You’re gonna cost me some loot if you don’t get your square keister home!”

“Mr. Krabs! I wanna go to bed!”

“Ha, ha, ha, good one, Squidward! Whoo!

Not on your life, sport.”

“Well, the nerve of that guy and his driving eyeballs.”

“Oh, my gosh! Jeffrey Jellyfish! W-w-wait, Jeffrey! I have to touch you!”

“Spongebob, I’m glad you learned your lesson: Hero worship is unhealthy. Come on, Jeffrey.”


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Patrick Spongebob Quotes

“We should take Bikini Bottom, and push it somewhere else!”

“Where’s the leak, ma’am?”/ “He makes me sick, just looking at him. Those big bulgy eyes, that square body, those two buck teeth, and that stupid tie!”/ “Oh, boy, a surprise party! Is it his birthday?”/”Finland”

“I can’t see my forehead”

“We’re not cavemen we have technology”

“Two giant paint bubbles”

“Once there was an ugly barnacle he was so ugly that everyone died. The end”

“I love you.”

“And then comes a giant fist!”

“East? I thought you said weast?”

“My name’s not Rick!”

“Is mayonnaise an instrument?”

“Leedle Leedle Leedle Lee.”

“Firmly grasp it in your hand!”

“Is this the Krusty Krab?” “No this is Patrick.”

“Haha haha it’s a giraffe.”

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Sad Spongebob Quotes & Scenes

Fools in April


The first half of the episode starts off in a lighthearted and silly manner- but all of this goes straight to ::dolphin noise:: when Squidward performs an incredibly dangerous and humiliating prank on Spongebob, who runs away crying. It’s one of the few times in the show when Spongebob’s crying isn’t played for comedy somehow (either though melodramatic visuals or an absurd situation.) And it’s really sad to see. Squidward finally breaks down and gives him a much-deserved heartfelt apology. Although the twist ending was funny, his episode is remembered for making us want to hug Spongebob.



There’s one incredibly sad scene from this episode and I feel like no one remembers it. After Mister Krabs believes that Spongebob and Patrick have been taken by “the hooks,” Krabs falls to his knees, in utter disbelief, and sobs because he wasn’t able to save them in time- he even laments not being able to hug them one last time. There’s also this incredibly sad violin music in the background as this happens…

Something Smells


This seems like a really weird entry to my list, but whatever. If you disagree, you can tell me. Although a great majority of this episode is hilarious, there’s one scene that always gets me for some reason. When Patrick scoffs in disbelief at the oddly behaving moviegoers, he sees that Spongebob is hunched over in his chair, crying softly to himself. He asks Spongebob what’s the matter, to which Spongebob responds, “I can’t do it Patrick!” (sniff) “I try…” (sniff) “…and I try…” (sniff) “but… I’m not always as confident as I look! Maybe I should just go back home and hide…” For such a funny episode, this was a pretty sad scene- especially with Tom Kenny’s voice acting. You really just want to give Spongebob a hug (even though he smells like onions.)

Have You Seen This Snail?


Isn’t it obvious? This is perhaps THE definitive sad Spongebob episode. There are a lot of scenes I could mention, but I’ll have to go with the scene of Patrick quietly comforting Spongebob, as they’re both sitting on Spongebob’s couch. It’s one of the few times in the show when Patrick is genuinely being a great friend to Spongebob, and it’s very sweet.

Christmas Who?


This entire conversation…

Spongebob: You were right. This was a stupid holiday. (sobbing) I still want you to have this.

Squidward: …What? What’s this?

Spongebob: A present. (sniff) I made it for you so you wouldn’t feel left out when SANTA CAME!

Squidward: Well gee, I uh, you know, I…

Spongebob: You’re welcome… (sobs)

The Spongebob Squarepants Movie (2004)


The entire scene of our beloved little spongebob and chubby pink starfish slowly, and PAINFULLY, dying from dehydration under the heat lamp. Special mention to Patrick, using the last of his strength, putting Spongebob’s arm back onto his body, perhaps in some futile attempt to comfort or save him. Not to mention the both of them singing the Goofy Goober Theme Song with literally their last breath. Somehow, the scene of all the pirates in the theater crying makes it even sadder.

The Secret Box


For some reason, this episode hit me harder as an adult than it did as a kid. There’s a very brief montage of Spongebob and Patrick’s entire life together, starting as infants, and progressing to old men, both laughing jovially until the day they die. There’s also the “Best Friends Forever Ring” scene. A note to any kids reading this- treasure your friends. You never know when they’ll leave.

Nature Pants


Spongebob suddenly decides to live a hippie-ish, nomadic life among nature… which means leaving his best friend Patrick behind. Patrick, to say the least, is not happy about this. The image (and sound, good god it’s so SAD) of him crying breaks my freaking heart every time I watch this episode. I usually turn the channel. I can’t stand hearing Patrick cry in this episode. Too ::dolphin noise:: sad. Poor squishy guy…

Grandma’s Kisses


What sounds completely and utterly ridiculous and cringeworthy on paper suddenly becomes unnecessarily soul-crushing  with Tom Kenny crying it:

“I don’t wanna grow up!  I want cookies! And milky!  I want a sweater with love in the stitches!  I wanna wear diapies!  I wanna ride in my wagon! I wanna cuddle-wuddle with Mr. Snuffykins!  I wanna rocky-rock in my seahorsey!  And I want kissy-kissy on my boo-boo! AAAUUGHH!!!”

Dying for Pie


This episode was… sad when I was a kid, but it didn’t start to get really sad until I grew up, and finally experienced the pain of losing a loved one- someone who was like a brother to me. There’s a scene near the end, when Squidward is sobbing and bawling his eyes out because he thinks that Spongebob has died. Then he says,

“Well… at least I was able to make his last few hours meaningful…”


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